Looking for the good in your wife?…Keep digging!

My wife wrote a blog recently that I really thought contained some good stuff.  In it, she talked about the concept of a husband making up his mind, committing himself and cleaving to his mate.  The blog is titled, “Leave and Cleave or Just Leave? What’s a Brotha to do?,” and despite my built in bias, I highly recommend it.

One of the main points centers on men and their decisions concerning how they treat their wives.  In Genesis 2:24, the Word encourages, actually commands, the husband to cleave to his beloved.  In reading that though, I have never seen anything in there that talks about leaving her for another, younger model because of boredom with the original.

What does it mean to cleave anyway?  Really, it means to hold on to, stick like glue, attach yourself to.  It is impossible to Cleave, if you are continually planning to leave.  The two don’t fit into the same modus operandi, or way of operating.

A favorite scripture of mine is in Proverbs 18:22.  It is something many of us have heard for years and if you spend any amount of time around me, you have probably heard me say it.  “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”  My additional takeaway from this is that the “finding” never ends, if you want a great marriage.

In the Contemporary English Version, the same verse becomes even richer,  “A man's greatest treasure is his wife--she is a gift from the LORD.” When you think of a treasure you are seeking, there is always work involved.  You have a map, you bring along your tools and once you find it, you have to dig to receive the ultimate prize.  The finding process is work, but it is good work.

As my pastor, Ben Gibert describes, our jobs as husbands/ or potential husbands is to present and maintain an atmosphere where our wives or wives to be are covered, protected and provided for.  What we sow into our wives can overcome anything we see.  Believe that the absolute best is available in your wife, pour all that you can into her and patiently stick to her.

Men, by nature, are creatures of conquest.  In our hearts, we seek challenges and something to develop or accomplish.  Our number one task in our families is to study, develop and figure out our wives, regardless how herculean this task may seem.  1 Peter 3:7 encourages that we, “dwell with our wives according to knowledge.”  To me that means to study, understand and “find” our wives continually.  This doesn’t mean our wives are projects or puzzles to be solved, but treasures to be discovered and cherished.

The wife we want as husbands is in the wife we have, not in woman we see from a distance. Enjoy the journey and find that good thing in the one you’re with. 

Question: Do you think the process of “finding your wife is worth the time?