New blog location

For my folks and friends that have read my blog, I am moving this over to Word Press.  This will give me some more flexibility in functionality as I begin to built this in earnest.  Feel free to join me at www.jeromeespy.com and thank you for reading.

Where in the world is your happiness?

Are we living in summer madness or summer gladness?

Remember those days when you were young and you got out of school for the summer?  Everything was geared toward getting to that magical last day of school and the relief that came for the break you had been waiting for for so long. 

Little did we all know that once we were all grow-d up, there was no automatic “break” from the monotony?  As gown ups, we get stuck in the process of life and the time just seems to slip away without warning.  Instead of living for the summer break, we start living for the weekend.  Those precious, little breaks from the norm we all look forward to.

We can all do ourselves a favor by being glad for what we have and enjoy life.  We can look forward to the parts of our life in the middle, not just the fringe little breaks. 

I read a survey recently on the happiest nations on the planet.  The question seemed simple enough, “"Taking all things together, would you say you are: very happy, quite happy, not very happy, or not at all happy?"  the United States ranked 13th on the list.  Of course, we all ask, where in the world could be mo happier than the good ole US of A, right?  It seems the survey found people in Iceland consider themselves the most happy, followed by Sweden and Denmark.

I would argue that the degree of happiness is more a product of where we are mentally as opposed to where we receive our mail and call our home.  As I always do, I encourage us all to enjoy the journey, be glad, grateful and full of as much joy as you can muster.   

Enjoy the Journey!

As a family, we recently reached a milestone.  My son just graduated from high school.  It is an interesting time and I can’t help thinking about the journey to this point and the bigger journey that lies ahead.

We all come to pivotal moments in our lives when we think about the past, the future and the journey.  What we do during those moments is key to our frame of mind.

When we think about our past or the past of someone in our lives, how do we view it?  Do we focus on the minute details of the journey or the milestone reached?  To put things in true proper perspective, we need to embrace both.  I am very proud of my son for reaching this milestone and for the journey along the way, especially after overcoming some challenges along the way.  But, hallelujah, he made it!

Everyone has journey stories, contributions made by us and through us.

Lao Tzu once wrote, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

Another quote comes from Robert R. Updegraff - “Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all of its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them.

In an earlier blog (How do you Spend Your Dash?) I mentioned reflected on maximizing our entire life and enjoying the journey.  It is a revelation most of us never quite embrace in totality.  Let’s not get stuck along the way or settle for reaching the milestone, keep moving, realize where you came from and where you are going.

Enjoy the journey!

No right to complain

News alert!!!

Regardless of what is going on in your life right now, it ain’t that bad.  I saw this video this week after a twitter friend @JackieRNR posted it on her feed.  We all love to complain about what is or is not going on in our lives.  What we have or don't have, what we wish we could do, etc.  

To put it all into perspective, take a look at the video by clicking on the link below, ponder and give me your thoughts.

We have absolutely nothing to complain about - I mean, really.

Life and work: The ultimate balancing act

We all ponder the age-old balancing act between our work life and what I would call, our life that matters. 

There is no perfect balance, regardless of what anyone may tell you.  In the end, you are the only one that will know your appropriate balance after some honest introspection.  What is the key then to weighting that scale in a direction that keeps you from going tilt?

A legend for what we do or who we are?

Beloved, cherished, loved and admired.

When we use words to try to describe someone that is truly special or has had a phenomenal impact on our lives, sometimes words just don’t cut it.

Is a legend a legend only because of what they do or because of who they are at their core?

This week, a man I would consider a legend in the truest sense of the word passed away after a long battle with cancer.  Ernie Harwell was known best for his work as an announcer for the Detroit Tigers baseball team and his boundless energy.  But, the one trait for me that takes him to an even higher status is that he was a man of faith that, by all appearances, was not only a Christian in name only, but in practice as well.

Looking for the good in your wife?…Keep digging!

My wife wrote a blog recently that I really thought contained some good stuff.  In it, she talked about the concept of a husband making up his mind, committing himself and cleaving to his mate.  The blog is titled, “Leave and Cleave or Just Leave? What’s a Brotha to do?,” and despite my built in bias, I highly recommend it.

One of the main points centers on men and their decisions concerning how they treat their wives.  In Genesis 2:24, the Word encourages, actually commands, the husband to cleave to his beloved.  In reading that though, I have never seen anything in there that talks about leaving her for another, younger model because of boredom with the original.

Your life with momentum: Look maw, no hands!

Do you remember rolling down a hill as a kid?  First, you pushed off and then all of the sudden, you were rolling like a ball. There was a part of that that felt great.  Out of control, dizzy, unsure, but moving nonetheless.  It’s the snowball effect…all you need is a little push, and you will become an unstoppable force.  This book is that push, that starting point toward the unstoppable.  Begin now to think about that person you want to become – point your thoughts and prayers in that direction, then the primed pump will kick in and start to flow.

In all the world, there is no greater feeling than that of knowing your purpose here on the earth.  Knowing one’s place is a great thing.  Many a man and woman have lived and died, never tapping into what they were put on earth to do.  Don’t be that person…become the champion – become who you were intended to be.

Plastic Surgery: Who is that in the mirror and in my skin?

Many people are never satisfied with themselves or their lives - their past or where they are headed in the future.  And, the way they feel about how they look…forget about it.  There is an entire discipline in the medical field designed to help people feel better about who they are (at least how they look).  A little more of this, a little less of that, a nip here, a tuck there - where does it all end?  Are we all placing too much value on appearance and not enough on true substance?

I posted a survey here last month asking people their opinions on plastic surgery and the idea of getting “work” done.  People ran across the entire range, there was not clear consensus.  As a thoroughly unscientific analysis, it seemed people at least consider doing something about how they look and would change something if they could afford it and didn’t feel like they wouldn’t end up looking odd.

Research by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery shows that in 2006, nearly 11.5 million Americans had some sort of surgical or nonsurgical “adjustments” made to their appearance. To show how drastically this trend has grown, since 1997, there has been a 446-percent increase in the number of cosmetic procedures performed.  Maybe you’re one of those 11.5 million people.  If you are, don’t beat yourself up.  I only bring this up as a point to demonstrate the degree if dissatisfaction people have with some aspect of who they are.

The beginning of real satisfaction in life begins with knowing who you are.  If you don’t have a sense of that, you are starting off in the hole.  The journey to where you want to be is an inside job. 

Proverbs 23:7 puts it very clearly, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Another anonymous writer puts it this way when thinking about how we think about ourselves, “Love yourself, for if you don't, how can you expect anybody else to love you.”

Part two of the impromptu poll, is it okay to try to improve God’s handiwork with your appearance?  What do you think?

Photo Credit: Zehar

Rut is wrong with you?

So, how automatic has your life become?  When you think about what you are doing now and where you thought you would be in your life by now, are you there?

We sometimes get stuck in our lives in a place of tyrannical sameness.  We get up, follow the same patterns (good or bad) day after day and become comfortable with the way things are.  We get stuck in a rut.

What is a rut anyway?

Definition: rut (rut), noun

1.    a fixed, routine course of action, thought, etc., esp. one regarded as monotonous

How do you Spend your Dash?

We spend a lot of time in our lives striving.  Striving for money, clothes, status, cars, you name it.  Sometimes, it seems we are more concerned about the way we spend our cash, than how we spend our “Dash.”  Okay, so you ask, what the heck does that mean, right?

Well, the dash is that time between our day of birth and the time we transition out of this skin suit and die and ultimately go to meet our maker. We have all seen the obituaries and listings in the paper of people exclaiming when they were born and when the died.  But, what happened in the middle?  Did they make a difference with their “Dash?”

Spend the Currency of Your Focus Wisely

We expend energy every day on so many things.  The energy to begin our day, the energy to exercise, the energy to problem solve.  Where we focus our energy is equivalent to a currency we can spend in creative ways every day.  How are you spending your energy on a daily basis?

If we are not careful, we can find ourselves focusing on the wrong things and the wrong thought patterns.  If we are going to be spending our energy anyway, why not spend it in constructive ways.  Spend it focusing on the blessings you have received.  You may not think you have anything to be thankful for, but if you are breathing, you have something to be thankful for.

What do you think?  How can you spend your focus in more creative and productive ways?

B-Positive!

I have been accused of many things in my life, not all of them flattering.  But, recently, a number of people have accused me of being too positive.  Of all of the things I have been called, I have to say this is a first. My answer has two parts.  One, guilty as charged and second, thanks you.

I have come to believe, through many trials and much error that thinking right is worth the energy. When faced with the option of being eternally positive or hopelessly negative, choose positive.

Phooey on Valentine's Day

Now, I know this is going to sound like a complete man-type cop out, but I really don’t care for Valentine’s Day…in the traditional Hallmark/Godiva/1-800-FLOWERS kind of way.

Next month, I will celebrate 19 years of extraordinary marital kinship with my phenomenal wife.  I mean to tell you, I am head over heels in love…for real!

One thing we have always been purposeful about throughout our marriage is to offer up continuous thankfulness towards one another and genuine love.  That means that we don’t wait for any designated date on the calendar to appreciate one another.

Let’s take a look at that word for a minute, ap⋅pre⋅ci⋅ate [uh-pree-shee-eyt].  Webster’s dictionary simply defines it as “being grateful for; to value or regard highly.”  I would argue that if we, “guys” of the species would appreciate our mate or significant other more (everyday), there would be less of a need to fight through the lines at the Walgreen’s or mall to pick up an insignificant gift.  On the other side, a woman that “has” to get something from their man on Valentine’s Day to validate their relationship should seek good counseling or another man.

Just for the record, I will buy my lovely wife a gift for the day, but I buy her gifts all of the time, just because. So, this VD day, let’s adjust our priorities and learn to appreciate those we love all the time.

2010: Raise the Level and Quality of Your Expectations

Okay, so we are at another transition from one year to another.  As a matter of fact, this is also a transition into a new decade, so what are you going to do?

We come to this time every year and look in the mirror, step on the scale, look at our bank account, reflect on our relationships and decide, with boldness, “I declare that next year will be different!”

It seems that with the change of the calendar always comes an inwardly-focused evaluation of what we have done in the past 12 months and many times, even further back into our past, good and bad.