Enjoy the Journey!

As a family, we recently reached a milestone.  My son just graduated from high school.  It is an interesting time and I can’t help thinking about the journey to this point and the bigger journey that lies ahead.

We all come to pivotal moments in our lives when we think about the past, the future and the journey.  What we do during those moments is key to our frame of mind.

When we think about our past or the past of someone in our lives, how do we view it?  Do we focus on the minute details of the journey or the milestone reached?  To put things in true proper perspective, we need to embrace both.  I am very proud of my son for reaching this milestone and for the journey along the way, especially after overcoming some challenges along the way.  But, hallelujah, he made it!

Everyone has journey stories, contributions made by us and through us.

Lao Tzu once wrote, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

Another quote comes from Robert R. Updegraff - “Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all of its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them.

In an earlier blog (How do you Spend Your Dash?) I mentioned reflected on maximizing our entire life and enjoying the journey.  It is a revelation most of us never quite embrace in totality.  Let’s not get stuck along the way or settle for reaching the milestone, keep moving, realize where you came from and where you are going.

Enjoy the journey!

No right to complain

News alert!!!

Regardless of what is going on in your life right now, it ain’t that bad.  I saw this video this week after a twitter friend @JackieRNR posted it on her feed.  We all love to complain about what is or is not going on in our lives.  What we have or don't have, what we wish we could do, etc.  

To put it all into perspective, take a look at the video by clicking on the link below, ponder and give me your thoughts.

We have absolutely nothing to complain about - I mean, really.

Life and work: The ultimate balancing act

We all ponder the age-old balancing act between our work life and what I would call, our life that matters. 

There is no perfect balance, regardless of what anyone may tell you.  In the end, you are the only one that will know your appropriate balance after some honest introspection.  What is the key then to weighting that scale in a direction that keeps you from going tilt?

A legend for what we do or who we are?

Beloved, cherished, loved and admired.

When we use words to try to describe someone that is truly special or has had a phenomenal impact on our lives, sometimes words just don’t cut it.

Is a legend a legend only because of what they do or because of who they are at their core?

This week, a man I would consider a legend in the truest sense of the word passed away after a long battle with cancer.  Ernie Harwell was known best for his work as an announcer for the Detroit Tigers baseball team and his boundless energy.  But, the one trait for me that takes him to an even higher status is that he was a man of faith that, by all appearances, was not only a Christian in name only, but in practice as well.

Looking for the good in your wife?…Keep digging!

My wife wrote a blog recently that I really thought contained some good stuff.  In it, she talked about the concept of a husband making up his mind, committing himself and cleaving to his mate.  The blog is titled, “Leave and Cleave or Just Leave? What’s a Brotha to do?,” and despite my built in bias, I highly recommend it.

One of the main points centers on men and their decisions concerning how they treat their wives.  In Genesis 2:24, the Word encourages, actually commands, the husband to cleave to his beloved.  In reading that though, I have never seen anything in there that talks about leaving her for another, younger model because of boredom with the original.

Your life with momentum: Look maw, no hands!

Do you remember rolling down a hill as a kid?  First, you pushed off and then all of the sudden, you were rolling like a ball. There was a part of that that felt great.  Out of control, dizzy, unsure, but moving nonetheless.  It’s the snowball effect…all you need is a little push, and you will become an unstoppable force.  This book is that push, that starting point toward the unstoppable.  Begin now to think about that person you want to become – point your thoughts and prayers in that direction, then the primed pump will kick in and start to flow.

In all the world, there is no greater feeling than that of knowing your purpose here on the earth.  Knowing one’s place is a great thing.  Many a man and woman have lived and died, never tapping into what they were put on earth to do.  Don’t be that person…become the champion – become who you were intended to be.

Plastic Surgery: Who is that in the mirror and in my skin?

Many people are never satisfied with themselves or their lives - their past or where they are headed in the future.  And, the way they feel about how they look…forget about it.  There is an entire discipline in the medical field designed to help people feel better about who they are (at least how they look).  A little more of this, a little less of that, a nip here, a tuck there - where does it all end?  Are we all placing too much value on appearance and not enough on true substance?

I posted a survey here last month asking people their opinions on plastic surgery and the idea of getting “work” done.  People ran across the entire range, there was not clear consensus.  As a thoroughly unscientific analysis, it seemed people at least consider doing something about how they look and would change something if they could afford it and didn’t feel like they wouldn’t end up looking odd.

Research by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery shows that in 2006, nearly 11.5 million Americans had some sort of surgical or nonsurgical “adjustments” made to their appearance. To show how drastically this trend has grown, since 1997, there has been a 446-percent increase in the number of cosmetic procedures performed.  Maybe you’re one of those 11.5 million people.  If you are, don’t beat yourself up.  I only bring this up as a point to demonstrate the degree if dissatisfaction people have with some aspect of who they are.

The beginning of real satisfaction in life begins with knowing who you are.  If you don’t have a sense of that, you are starting off in the hole.  The journey to where you want to be is an inside job. 

Proverbs 23:7 puts it very clearly, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Another anonymous writer puts it this way when thinking about how we think about ourselves, “Love yourself, for if you don't, how can you expect anybody else to love you.”

Part two of the impromptu poll, is it okay to try to improve God’s handiwork with your appearance?  What do you think?

Photo Credit: Zehar

Rut is wrong with you?

So, how automatic has your life become?  When you think about what you are doing now and where you thought you would be in your life by now, are you there?

We sometimes get stuck in our lives in a place of tyrannical sameness.  We get up, follow the same patterns (good or bad) day after day and become comfortable with the way things are.  We get stuck in a rut.

What is a rut anyway?

Definition: rut (rut), noun

1.    a fixed, routine course of action, thought, etc., esp. one regarded as monotonous

How do you Spend your Dash?

We spend a lot of time in our lives striving.  Striving for money, clothes, status, cars, you name it.  Sometimes, it seems we are more concerned about the way we spend our cash, than how we spend our “Dash.”  Okay, so you ask, what the heck does that mean, right?

Well, the dash is that time between our day of birth and the time we transition out of this skin suit and die and ultimately go to meet our maker. We have all seen the obituaries and listings in the paper of people exclaiming when they were born and when the died.  But, what happened in the middle?  Did they make a difference with their “Dash?”

Spend the Currency of Your Focus Wisely

We expend energy every day on so many things.  The energy to begin our day, the energy to exercise, the energy to problem solve.  Where we focus our energy is equivalent to a currency we can spend in creative ways every day.  How are you spending your energy on a daily basis?

If we are not careful, we can find ourselves focusing on the wrong things and the wrong thought patterns.  If we are going to be spending our energy anyway, why not spend it in constructive ways.  Spend it focusing on the blessings you have received.  You may not think you have anything to be thankful for, but if you are breathing, you have something to be thankful for.

What do you think?  How can you spend your focus in more creative and productive ways?

B-Positive!

I have been accused of many things in my life, not all of them flattering.  But, recently, a number of people have accused me of being too positive.  Of all of the things I have been called, I have to say this is a first. My answer has two parts.  One, guilty as charged and second, thanks you.

I have come to believe, through many trials and much error that thinking right is worth the energy. When faced with the option of being eternally positive or hopelessly negative, choose positive.

Phooey on Valentine's Day

Now, I know this is going to sound like a complete man-type cop out, but I really don’t care for Valentine’s Day…in the traditional Hallmark/Godiva/1-800-FLOWERS kind of way.

Next month, I will celebrate 19 years of extraordinary marital kinship with my phenomenal wife.  I mean to tell you, I am head over heels in love…for real!

One thing we have always been purposeful about throughout our marriage is to offer up continuous thankfulness towards one another and genuine love.  That means that we don’t wait for any designated date on the calendar to appreciate one another.

Let’s take a look at that word for a minute, ap⋅pre⋅ci⋅ate [uh-pree-shee-eyt].  Webster’s dictionary simply defines it as “being grateful for; to value or regard highly.”  I would argue that if we, “guys” of the species would appreciate our mate or significant other more (everyday), there would be less of a need to fight through the lines at the Walgreen’s or mall to pick up an insignificant gift.  On the other side, a woman that “has” to get something from their man on Valentine’s Day to validate their relationship should seek good counseling or another man.

Just for the record, I will buy my lovely wife a gift for the day, but I buy her gifts all of the time, just because. So, this VD day, let’s adjust our priorities and learn to appreciate those we love all the time.

2010: Raise the Level and Quality of Your Expectations

Okay, so we are at another transition from one year to another.  As a matter of fact, this is also a transition into a new decade, so what are you going to do?

We come to this time every year and look in the mirror, step on the scale, look at our bank account, reflect on our relationships and decide, with boldness, “I declare that next year will be different!”

It seems that with the change of the calendar always comes an inwardly-focused evaluation of what we have done in the past 12 months and many times, even further back into our past, good and bad.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving, and Giving and Giving

Tis is the season of giving, right?  So, as you plan to head out into the mosh pit of shoppers, let’s ponder something profound…what are we really doing?

Aside from the fact that CHRIST-mas is now considered a dirty word, have all of the distractions of tradition taken the wind out of what we are really supposed to be about during this time?  Hoadish getting and misguided giving has replaced giving with a purpose in many aspects of our society.

Are the gifts we give those loved ones and acquaintances really something that can make a lasting impact?  Does a new game system, regardless how Wii-under-ful or PS-itively amazing it might be, really offer anything of substance?

Unemployed, Underemployed, Have Faith?

Hallelujah, Thank the Lawd!

It has been eight months that I have been back to work, after being out of work for nearly as long – eight months.

I am grateful, and dare I say even more so now, to be among the working.  I still have friends that either remain unemployed or underemployed after months and some more than a year.

Be Who You Be, Even When Nobody Can See

(Right off the bat…excuse the grammar usage in the title – trying to make a point.)

I have to admit that I love the age we live in right now. I mean from a technology and access to information standpoint.

By self-declaration, I am a proud and unabashed maven of gadgets, whiz bang toys and oh, I can’t forget about cell phones…I l-o-o-v-v-e new cell phones. To put it bluntly, I am a techno geek.

I got to thinking the other day about this whole “social” media phenomenon and how people have become so engulfed in communicating this way, anonymously, without actual human contact, seemingly without restrictions or boundaries.

Earlier this year, a study came out (http://bit.ly/5uV2) declaring people visited Facebook, the most popular “social” media site nearly 1.2 billion a month, MySpace more than 810-million times a month and Twitter more than half a billion times during a typical 30-day period. That’s a lot of visits and a lot of time behind a computer screen for a lot of people.

Hug it Out…

An article appeared in the New York Times in recently, taking an interesting angle on the whole Swine Flu (H1N1) thing. Undoubtedly, the second coming of the virus (the first being in the Spring of this year) is being anticipated and feared by the general population and people have begun to prepare themselves and for many, there is an intense look at how we do everything we do.

Following the advice our mothers told us when we were young, healthcare experts are saying, over and over that following basic hygiene, cough etiquette, hand washing and staying home if you are sick are the best ways to avoid the onslaught (unless you have a weakened immune system). But, what about how we all greet one another and show general affection towards those we meet or come in contact with on a regular basis?

Honesty, Energy and Joy

Over the fourth of July holiday, my family came to town for a visit. I always love seeing my sister-in-law, brother-in-law and especially, my niece. You know how it is, we are all busy and we hardy get to see them as much as I would love. Contrary to tradition, I actually love and like my wife’s family a lot.

When they came to town this time, I was particularly blown away by my niece. She is still in her early single digits by age, but she taught me a great lesson I don’t think I could have learned from a room full of bearded, gray-haired professors.

There are three things she has that I found profound and humorous at the same time and after letting it percolate a bit, I had to put it to paper. In no particular order, the three things this young genius taught me were a new found appreciation for Honesty, Energy and Joy.

Choose to 'Catch' a Good Mood

Who do you feel?

In my stroll across the web today, I stumbled upon an article that looks like it has made its rounds, dating back to at least 2005. The item, entitled “How to ‘Catch’ a Good Mood (http://tinyurl.com/lfo9nd), really struck me for some reason today.

We all know we can ‘catch’ a cold, we can be infected by any number of diseases, we can fall prey to a contagious ‘something’ at any time. But, this item talked about the infectious nature of positivity and the people we choose to be around.

The beauty of it all is that we can all make a difference in the world. While we all have the capacity for greatness, many times, we do not rise to the occasion.  

It is so much easier to just sit back and "go with the flow," instead of standing up for something, having a real impact or making that significant change in our lives that we all would love to make.

The power to make any significant and lasting change in our lives is a result of the decisions we make and the corresponding actions we take.  What we all need is a spark to initiate the decisions and create an environment in life where those lasting changes can take place.

Without a doubt, one of my favorite allegories in the world concerns David – the biblical king of Israel.  If anyone has spent any time in Sunday school, or even read a little, you have probably heard about his exploits on the battlefield against the giant, Goliath.  Many people know something about his proficient handling of a sling shot and three smooth stones. But, the reason I love the story is because of – as old time radio host Paul Harvey would say – the, “rest” of the story.  Whether you consider yourself “religious” or not, there are similarities in the way David was prepared for and subsequently handled this seemingly insurmountable challenge, and what you can decide to tackle in your own life.